Not so Super Tuesday

It is one of those days. One of those days, when you wake up, thinking, "what a lovely Wednesday morning." Only to find, it is Tuesday. You have completely rearranged your Wednesday to accommodate others, and find you didn't need to. Oh well, time to move.

Things go as a normal Tuesday would go....until BAM! You get into a fender bender. That's when this Tuesday goes to the crapper.

My heart sinks. I start shaking. But immediately run over to other car to see if they are ok. They are physically fine, but so livid. The husband and wife are so terribly upset with me. He instantly calls the police. She instantly gives me the evil eye. Neither one of them ask if I or my child is ok. My minivan is fine. My kid is fine. And I am physically fine. I check the damage on my car. Thankfully, nothing. I check the damage on their car. Thankfully nothing. They are so mean to me. And my hurt hearts. They never ask if my kid or kids are ok. That is what I'm learning. I praise the Lord for this accident. No matter what happens, Lord please help me to think of the other person.

It hurt so much that they never even came over to ask how my kid was. Lord, please help me not be so selfish. In all I do, please help me glorify you!
There is more that happened later on this no so super Tuesday. But I will rest in His love and know that He is watching over me.

Lent and Repent!

Tis the time of Lent. Usually this is the time of year where I hear people give up chocolates, sweets, meat, etc..until Easter. Now, I have known about lent ever since I can remember, but it wasn't until just recently, when I really started to study it, that is so much more than food!

   I am a sinner. Fo sho! No denying it. Ask anyone. My imperfections are obvious. I know I will never be perfect until I reach heaven. So, why try, right?
WRONG!
   I have a God who loves me and takes care of me. He made. He made all things. He formed me in my mother's womb and made me for Him. Not for me, or you, or anyone else, but for Him.
   So...here I am, living on this earth, with one simple goal. To glorify God and enjoy Him. When I choose to sin, yes choose-no one can make me sin-I am choosing to worship and love myself more than God. What have I ever done for myself? I didn't create myself. I didn't send my only son to die on cross to be a substitute for sinners. I am a mere man. I am nothing...apart from Christ. Why would I choose to hate my Savior, the one true God, and love my sin more than Him? Why would I choose to dwell in the house of the wicked and not in the house God? What have I ever done for myself?

Repent! Hate and forsake my sin. Turn from it and turn to Christ. He is the only one who can save me and change my heart. Trust in Him with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct my path!

How can I speak?

Does anyone struggle with talking to people? Not asking questions. Not listening. But struggle with talking about themselves? As if, the other person in the convo has something better to say, a better life, or just isn't interested in what I have to say or who I am?
  Now, the later has proven to be untrue a majority of the time. They do care about me and would most likely be interested in my life, if I could only let them know about it. But I am not interesting. I don't care about drama or trying to making something more dramatic than it is. My life isn't ossome, but it definitely has good days...and bad. So, in conversations with friends or acquaintances, how do I express that?
  TED talks has a ten minute video about talking so someone so they will listen. I found it helpful, as I am guilty of all the negative things he brings up. And, guilty of all the positive ones as well. I know I complain and have excuses and am not perfect. https://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_how_to_speak_so_that_people_want_to_listen?language=en
  I know I also want to talk to people and listen to them because I genuinely love and care about them. When they ask me how I am doing, why do I feel as though I have a 3 second response time, or I have lost them and they are bored? I do not feel comfortable talking to others, because it it appears either their mind is elsewhere or I am boring. How do I engage their attention?
   I do see a counselor once a month. I pay the counselor. That is where I am truly confident to say what I think and feel, because the counselor is being paid to listen.
  So....my new theory is this: get out of my self! I am so focused on me that I am losing sight on how I can love and serve Jesus by listening to others and caring for them. And Jesus always ALWAYS! hears me. He is always there for me and will never leave me. I am blessed to have that wonderful counselor and unconditional love. Praise the Lord! And I pray He would continue to help me see His way instead of my own.
  I am blessed with family, friends and a wonderful husband! I have no reason to complain and I do not really even mean to complain. I am just not great at talking. When people tell their engagement stories or birthing stories, they are so elaborate and enticing! When I tell mine, I am done in two sentences. But here is what I found. It is truly not about me. Conversations are for getting to know the other person. How can I love them? How can I pray? And how can we build each other in Him? Praise the Lord for the trials He brings in our lives and for His forgiveness.